I’ve had this client for a few months now and she has really been through ups and downs, many more downs than ups. Without getting into too many details, I find myself relating to her a lot. She, like me, struggles with mental illness, self-esteem and voicing her emotions. As a coach you would think that I’ve got all the answers but growth and learning are processes that take time and are often a matter of trial and error. Throw my ADHD into the mix and you have someone who struggles to get things done, especially when they’re not novel. Someone reached out to me on LinkedIn and spoke about my online presence. They were trying to offer insight into how I share my story on various directories but not so much on my website, so I’ve decided to talk a little more about what my struggles are and how I deal with them.
Like many women, I struggled with abuse as a child, divorce between my parents, moving homes, struggles in high school and difficulties learning to live on my own. School structure provided a way for me to focus on getting tasks done at school and at university. I worked for a few years afterwards but eventually became a ‘kept woman’ by my husband. Now many years later, without that structure, I am struggling with developing a routine for myself and I frequently burn out using traditional ‘normal’ ways of motivation. Being diagnosed with ADHD only two years ago, I have been through the ringer trying to learn new ways to ‘hack’ my brain. Needless to say, there are no easy solutions for building motivation, sticking to a routine and starting a life coaching business from scratch.
I’ve seen therapists over the years for various reasons and I’m sure I will see a few more in my lifetime. There was one in particular who helped me a lot and I finally felt like I came out of it not needing therapy for a while. I got closure, clarity and direction. I would definitely recommend her to anyone needing a psychologist-life-coach combo. You see, having a background in Psychology myself, I understand the nuances that go into therapy so my brain can find ways to avoid the typical prying questions, the manufactured empathy and the general ‘I’m here for you’ attitude that gives many people the support system they’re looking for. So, I had to find someone who was smarter than me! My background in Philosophy also made it hard to find someone with the critical thinking it takes to pick up on my avoidance of talking about difficult stories from my past.
Having spent almost five years in a state of compounded grief over the loss of my grandparents and mother, picking things back up felt like the heaviest burden in the world. I swear I had to learn to navigate my emotions like a child. Coupled with an addiction to thc, I ended up in a clinic for 3 weeks, having lost my marbles after multiple panic attacks. It was in spite of the clinic’s staff that I pulled myself together enough to regain my sanity, get my anxiety and depression under control, and eventually get diagnosed with ADHD. This was only the start of things as I was newly reenergized to start my life coaching practice again. I had a course to finish, more therapy to attend and I was a new wife living with my in-laws. At the time I felt I had little control over my situation so I put all my energy into my course and my practice.
A year later and many missteps under my belt, I burnt out again after religiously perfecting my website and posting on my social media streams to no avail. After two successful clients, there was dead silence on the client front and I reached the point where I was about to give up on my coaching business altogether. I met up with two fellow coaches who reinvigorated me and gave me fresh ideas on how to get clients. Then I made a new friend who has been helping me to improve my sales approach. She says to just rip off the band-aid and jump in, no matter what happens, and to just prepare for the worst, hoping for the best.
So, with the rediscovery of some music I used to listen to in my 20’s, I am reaching my 40th birthday with a new hope for the future. The past three months have been burnout again, but now that I’ve taken a rest, I can refocus on the future of my coaching business. Starting with this blog post, I will be making a renewed effort towards finding clients. My business cards have arrived today and I’ve been working on flyers. I’ve got people in my corner who want to see me succeed, a great skillset and some counseling under my belt. If this post resonated with you, please share your thoughts, goals and difficulties to we can continue to support each other.
